Filmmaker
Filed Under: Politics Filmmaking
Yes, yes, we want to put all our profits into your local programs and stuff. I'm a nice guy. Just please don't hurt me. Boo hoo. Present your ass. I shall kiss it.
Yeah, uh, I don't think your marketing campaign is going to stop either of these guys from stomping all over whatever gonads you have left.
And no, when they nationalize your company, they won't hire you to be in charge of "The People's Oil Company For The Glorious Glorification of the Collective, Inc."
They will kill you first and then give the job to their nephews.
Kissing ass only goes so far with guys who don't wipe because it's bad for the environment.
Back in 1980's New Orleans high-school, we had two separate words for sniveling, obsequious people: "wussies" and "jinnywomen."
You used the term "wussie" in lieu of "pussy," because you didn't use the "p" word around Catholic Christian Brothers (or, if you were really unlucky, Jesuit Priests). You could also call someone a "jinnywoman," which I believe was derived from the medical word "vagina," but I am not an entymologist. Or an etymologist.
Both words popped back into my head after years of dust-gathering when I was initially confronted by ads like this, courtesy of Chevron:
Pandering, anyone?
Would someone in big oil please regrow your atrophied testicles and make a damned ad with a script like this?
Exterior - Drilling Platform - Day
A tough-looking Drilling Dude in a hard hat storms up to the camera with a red, angry face.
Drilling Dude: Listen up, sheeple! You want to know why gas is $5 a gallon? Because you dumb asses keep re-electing politicians who stop us from drilling for oil here in the United States. Or building refineries! Last refinery we built was decades ago! Regulations and red tape - that shit costs money! Go back to school and learn basic economics, meathead!
It's call supply and demand, and the morons you elect keep choking up the supply! Tell 'em to go choke their damned chickens instead!
Now those jackasses on capital hill are talking about raising taxes on the oil industry. They call those tax breaks "subsidies." Who the hell is writing their stump speeches? George Orwell?
Yeah, we have $4 billion dollars in tax breaks. You know what'll happen if you take that away from us?
We'll have to raise gas prices to make up for a lost FOUR BILLION DOLLARS! Stupid shitheads!
What did you think -- we'll just "walk off" four billion dollars in new expenses? But go ahead, cut off your nose to spite your ass-face!
Now go on back to chewing your cud, you mindless cows, and tell Chuckie Schumer in the Senate to suck our cocks! Here's his contact info...
Title Card (White Text On Black): Tell Chuck Schumer To Suck Our Cocks! http://schumer.senate.gov/new_website/contact.cfm
Well, that may be a bit overboard. Still. That marketing campaign has been around for a while, and it hasn't gotten much traction in social media; 140,000 or so "likes" on Facebook isn't a lot when you consider how much media time they've purchased to push the thing.
The oil industry isn't persuading anyone that already hates them. They are certainly not persuading the collectivists in the White House (who are, in fact, their mortal enemies) by bowing and scraping to them. What they are doing is demoralizing those in their own camp who recognize and understand capitalism, the law of supply and demand, and the essence of liberty.
I'm sure quite a few of the CEO's in the oil industry would prefer to curry favor with the collectivists in our government (and governments across the world) in the hopes that they will be nationalized or destroyed last. Good luck with that. How'd that work for you guys in Venezuela?
Terribly sorry, Chevron (a division of Neville Chamberlain, Inc.): There will be no peace in our time between capitalists and socialists, and it's only a matter of time before you are conquered.
If you don't fight back.
contact ladd @ filmladd dot com
