Filmmaker
The Cuban Missile Crisis on Twitter
We'd Probably All Be Radioactive Mutants Today
2011-07-16
Filed Under: Humor Politics SocialMedia
An oldie but goodie. Re-posted after all this time. Enjoy...
Kruschev: We will bury you @WesternPowers! FU!
Castro: Buy my cigars! Follow me! Believe everything I say! I like talking at the UN CONSTANTLY!
Sinatra: That guy @Castro is an AHOLE! He NEVER SHUTS UP!
Castro: STFU @SINATRA! IF I WANNA TALK AT THE UN THAT'S MY BIZ, YOU FWAD!!!!!!!
Sinatra: Attention everyone on TWITTER! If you know what's good for you, you will steer clear of @CASTRO!
Castro: STFU @SINATRA! QUIT CYBERSTALKING MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Sinatra: I AM THE MOST POWERFUL LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON D.C.! You don't know this because I wear a Sinatra avatar, but you should treat me as such anyway!
JFK: WTF is going on? My back is killing me. I just woke up. Had a wild night with three hawt chicks.
Sinatra:@JFK! @CASTRO stole all of my casinos!!
JFK: @SINATRA: What? @CASTRO DID WHAT?
Castro: It's called NATIONALIZING, not stealing! So buy my cigars! Follow me! I will be speaking at the U.N. all day long for NO REASON AT ALL!
JFK: I am totally against someone stealing casinos. I don't understand this nationalizing part. Where are all my twitter women?
Sinatra: ATTENTION TWITTER! I AM THE MOST POWERFUL LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON D.C.! I can't tell you who I am though. BUT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!
Kruschev: We will bury you! ALSO, @PEPSI SUCKS THE BIG ONE!
Coca-Cola: I have no opinion on the matter of @Pepsi and @Kruschev. I merely would like to teach the world to tweet in perfect harmony.
JFK: Hey, @CocaCola. You're avatar's lookin' pretty hawt today. You should follow me. We should DM some time.
Coca-Cola: For the last time, @JFK, I am a man.
JFK: Geez @CocaCola. Stop putting female avatars up, wouldya? I can't remember everything! Look how many people I follow!
Coca-Cola: I'm blocking you @JFK. I am not thoroughly convinced you are a capitalist. Also, no more campaign contributions.
JFK: Oh nooze! I am sorry @CocaCola. Please forgive me. I --- oh shoot. I am blocked.
LBJ:@JFK U want I shud hep u, boss? Mebbee I can DM @CocaCola 4 u.
JFK: Oh good gawd no @LBJ, just be quiet wouldjya?
LBJ: @JFK ok bozz, if ya needz me I'll be in da crappa. U knows u don't needs to nock...
JFK: Yes @LBJ, please, just be quiet. Gawd you can be disgusting sometimes.
JFK: I can tell, this is going to be a bad day on Twitter.
Castro: Buy my cigars! Follow me! SPEAKING AT THE U.N. FOR NO REASON TODAY! I WILL POST LINK!
Sinatra: WTF @JFK?!?!?! PAY ATTENTION! YOU MUST DESTROY @CASTO! NOW!!!!
JFK: What @Sinatra? Who are you anyway?
Sinatra: READ MY 50,000 PAGES OF TWEETS AND FIGURE THINGS OUT, @JFK!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU, A MORON?????
MARYLIN_HAWT_4U: @JFK: Happy Birthday, Mr. President :))))))) xoxoxoxoxo
JFK: @MARYLIN_HAWT_4U: Heyyy baby. How are ya?
Kruschev: We will bury you! ALSO, I NEED A LOAN! MUST BE WILLING TO ACCEPT RUBLES FOR REPAYMENT! DM for details!
Sinatra: @JFK!!!!!!!! READ MY 50,000 PAGES OF TWEETS!!!! FOR I AM POWERFUL!!! Even if anonymous. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!
JFK: @Sinatra: Could I get my brother @BobbyK to do that for me? I am a bit overwhelmed by DM's at the moment.
Sinatra: @JFK! You better hurry up an' do it MY WAY!
Jackie: Uh. @JFK? Who are you DM'ing?
JFK: @Jackie: Matters of state, baby. I promise.
Jackie: @JFK: Oh. Ok. Listen. I have a charity function IRL to coordinate 4 next few days. I won't be on Twitter. Can you RT the info to everyone?
JFK: @Jackie: Yes, darling. Just email me the info. Wait, you didn't invite Teddy, did you?
Jackie: @JFK: You know I have better breeding that that. TTYL.
Sinatra: @JFK!!!!!!!! PAY ATTENTION OR I WILL SIC THE WHOLE RAT PACK ON YOU!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGH!!!!!!
DeanMartin: @Sinatra: Mr. Chairman, do you want me to start a DM campaign against @JFK or @Kruschev? Bubhbubbhuh.
Sinatra: @DeanMartin: Just be kewl, Daddy-o, and make sure Jerry don't come 'round here.
DeanMartin: @Sinatra: You got it, Mr. Chairman. You know, I really don't drink anything but non-floridated water. The drunk thing is all showbiz, baby. Badababadooo....
Sinatra: @JFK!!!!!! STEP IT UP! MY RAT PACK IS READY TO GO ON YOU!
JFK: @Sinatra: Ok, dude, chill, give me a minute... reading now. Plus I alerted the @CIA. :)
CIA: Dear @JFK @Sinatra we can't say much right now. But we promise, we are investigating.
Kruschev:We will bury you! STFU! Send us TOILET PAPER!
JFK: @KRUSCHEV: I just saw your message to the West on the public timeline. You have to remember, I have you blocked, Dude. Use skype or email if you're pissed about something.
Castro: MY ACCOUNT HAS JUST BEEN VERIFIED!!!! I AM NOW A TRUE WORLD LEADER!!!!!!!! VIVE LA REVOLUCION!
Sinatra: WTF? The @CIA? Gezuz @JFK!! They screwed up the Bay of Pigs, and best you can do is THAT???????????
MARYLIN_HAWT_4U: @JFK: Looooooook Mr. Pwesident :)))))) I changed my avatar just for YOU. XOXOXOXOXO
JFK: @MARYLIN_HAWT_4U: Woah!
Castro: MY BANNANAS ARE PRETTY GOOD TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOLLOW ME! FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!
Sinatra: @JFK YOU RAT BASTARD! HEEEELLLP! I AM BEING CYBERSTALKED BY @CASTRO!!!!
JFK: I HAD NO IDEA @SINATRA! I MUST DO SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY! I AM COMPLETELY AGAINST CYBERSTALKING!
Sinatra: @JFK YOU BETTER HELP ME OR I WILL SING A SONG WITH @DAVIDBOWIE! AND YOU DON'T WANT ME SCREWING AROUND WITH ANACHRONISMS!
JFK: Of course, @Sinatra! I am on it like a bum on a balogna sammich! I am writing a nuclear blog NOW!
SammyDavisJr: Hey did someone say Sammy?
JFK: No, @SammyDavisJr! Let me be, I am busy writing my nuclear blog to attack the evil powers of @Kruschev and @Castro!
Castro: FOLLOW ME!! I WILL HAVE MY SPEECH TO THE UN READY FOR DOWNLOAD! WILL POST LINK SOON!
Sinatra: Shut this guy @Castro UP @JFK!!! I'm WARNIN' YA!
Joan_Walsh: #HeWuzHacked #IWuzHacked #HelpMeGE #SomeoneSentMeBackInTime
Kruschev:We will bury you! STFU! Send us GRAIN!
Castro: OH YEAH @JFK? I HAVE A NUCLEAR BLOG READY TO RIP TOO! EVERYONE FOLLOW MEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Sinatra: Listen up Bugsy, I will pay ya at least a grand to bump this dude @CASTRO off.
Bugsy Siegel: @Sinatra: Dude. You accidentally tweeted dat on da timeline. Delete it, quick.
CIA: Not cool @Sinatra! Not cool!
Hoover: Has anyone seen my garters? #AlwaysLastPlaceYouLook
JFK: We are now at DEFCON 6, ready to launch our nuclear blogs @Kruschev and @Castro.
CIA: Wait.
JFK: Their nuclear blogs can not be tolerated any longer by Western society.
CIA: Wait. Wait.
Kruschev:We will bury you with our NUCLEAR BLOG, MAYBE-CAPITALIST PIG!
CharlesDeGaulle: Avez-vous du fromage? J'ai faim.
CIA:Dear @JFK @Sinatra @Castro @Kruschev nooooo waaaaaitttt check DM's
JFK: I LAUNCH MY NUCLEAR BLOG AT YOU!
Kruschev: I LAUNCH MY NUCLEAR BLOG AT YOU!
Castro: I LAUNCH MY NUCLEAR BLOG AT MIAMI! LA CAGE AUX FOLLES, YOU ARE DOOOOOMED!
JFK: @Kruschev: You hurt my feelings with your nuclear blog.
Kruschev: @JFK: You hurt my feelings with your nuclear blog.
Castro: FOLLLOW MEE!!!!
JFK: @Kruschev: I'm sorry. I retract my blog.
Kruschev: @JFK: I'm sorry. I retract my blog, too.
Castro: FOLLLOW MEE!!!!
JFK: @Kruschev: I gotta go eat somethin'. Check ya later.
Kruschev: @JFK: Yes. I must do laundry. See you later, semi-capitalist pig. Send DETERGENT!
Castro: FOLLLOW MEE!!!!
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